

“You asked me to bring dishes.”
“No,” he said slowly. “I asked you to bring a dish.”
“Yeah, and when I asked what kind, you wouldn’t f*&king answer me. You just said enough for
everyone. So, I dug through my cabinets and brought every f*&king dish I could find.” I pointed to all the dishes scattered on the counter.
Sinner was laughing at me and Cap was groaning. I just stood there staring at them.
“I don’t get what’s so f*&king funny.”
“A dish, a$$hole. You know, food?” Cap laughed.
“No, a dish is just that, a f*&king dish. If you wanted me to bring food, you should have f*&king asked.”
“I did!” Cap said loudly. “I said that everyone was being asked to bring a dish.”
“Since when does that equate to food? Food is food. A dish is something you put food in.”
“That’s what women call it,” Sinner laughed. “When you go to someone’s house and they ask you to
bring a dish, they mean a dish of food.”
“Do I look like a woman to you? Do I look like the type of guy that would know what the f*&k ‘a dish’ is,
besides the obvious?”
“Man, if you’re ever gonna get a woman to settle down with, you’re going to have to learn their lingo,”
Sinner laughed. “A dish means food, unless it means a dish.”
“Thank you for that, a$$hole. Now it all makes sense.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “No problem. You’ll get the hang of it. It’s really not too hard once you have a
few hundred fights.”
“Or you could do what I do and just keep a f*&king list on the fridge,” Cap said.
“Yeah? How many lists are you up to now?” I questioned. “How do you even keep track of what list is for
what?”
“It’s pretty simple. I have a list for things I’m supposed to say in certain situations. I have a list of things
never to say. I have a list of chores that she expects me to do right away. I have a list of things I can put
off without pissing her off too much. And last but not least, I have a list of different looks and phrases, and
their meanings.”
“Now that sounds like it would be helpful. Isn’t there some kind of book that women write to let us dumb
f*&ks know what the hell they’re thinking?”
Sinner shook his head. “Unfortunately, no. They think we should just ‘know’ this stuff or ‘figure it out’ on
our own. Like I have time to sit there and decipher every look and tone in her voice,” he scoffed.


