She stares at me as her lower lip trembles before finally crawling under the covers. I hear her sniffle as she tries to fight back her emotions. I walk around the bed to where she’s turned on her side so I can see her face. This time she doesn’t meet my eyes, she stares blankly at something behind me. 

I kneel and tuck a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “You mean more to me than anyone ever has, dolcezza. You can trust that.”

She peers at me sadly as she rapidly blinks tears away. “Did you love her? Did she take my place when you left me behind? It was her, wasn’t it?”

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“Did she get all your firsts, Hawk?” she asks in a pain-stricken tone.

I pull my hand back, unsure how to answer, but my silence is answer enough. I thought I loved Angel back then, but I realize now nothing about it was love. Infatuation and running from my demons landed me in her arms. And regrettably, I did share my first time with her instead of Brittney like I should have. Angel is the definition of deceit. If you look it up in the dictionary, her picture should be beside it.

Brittney closes her eyes, and the tears leak down her nose and into her hair. I attempt to wipe them away, but she whispers a plea, “Please don’t.”

“Baby…” I start.

Her watery gaze focuses on me. “I know you care. I even believe you love me, Hawk. But I don’t think you’re in love with me. Not in the same way I’m in love with you. It’s only ever been you since we were kids.”

I stare at her in surprise. I don’t know how to respond. I do think I’m in love with her, but I’m not going to drag her into what it means to be a Rossi. My grandfather made it clear I owe him for his help. The debt will be settled by taking on the role he thinks I should. My feelings for Brittney can’t save me from that fate.